“Deanne Jade, founder of the National Centre for Eating Disorders, says: “Anorexia always follows a diet, which has been initiated by feelings of inadequacy and often triggered by thoughtless or unguarded comments.” (quoted from http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2001/jun/07/medicalscience.healthandwellbeing1)
As I read this article as part of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I was reminded of the feelings of inadequacy I have felt in the past in regard to myself, my body, my life. My belief that I was unsuccessful in being a wife and mother as well as my lack of “success” in the physical standards of this world had led me down a dangerous path. A few months ago as I studied Scripture during my quiet time, I came across another sentence that also reminded me of the inadequacy and dissatisfaction I felt during those dark times. Proverbs 27:20 states, “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of man.”
I remember the feeling of “success” as I, through God’s grace and mercy, began to look at the things about me not through the eyes of “me”, but through the eyes of “He” who made me. Here is the article I wrote in response to that verse….
The eyes of man are never satisfied. How many of us know the truth of this statement? I dare say we all have stood in the mirror bemoaning our hair, skin, muscle tone, height, or weight. We may stand in our homes and wish for a bigger, cleaner, more organized, well-decorated place for ourselves. Perhaps it is our marriage that is our place of discontent. We stand in our aloneness longing for a more attentive, caring, romantic, and loving mate. No matter where we stand, our eyes, the eyes of THIS world, will never be satisfied with what is before us. Our constant straining for what could be keeps us from realizing the blessings that we have been given by our loving Father in Heaven.
In my life, I have found that not only am I like Death and Destruction in my dissatisfaction with what I see, but, if I choose to walk around in this discontent, I am walking straight toward death and destruction itself. In my case, this unfortunate end was a real and physical possibility, a potential consequence of my poor decisions. After years of staring at the mirror and finding myself not satisfied with what my eyes saw, I began to walk down a path of death and destruction. By over exercising, restrictive dieting, and other obsessive behaviors, I found myself completely overtaken by an eating disorder. I always desired something else. Staring death and destruction in the face, with the eyes of the world, yet still not satisfied.
Physical death is not the only possible destruction that occurs because of our lack of satisfaction. Perhaps, for you, it is a spiritual or emotional dying of the self. If we constantly look at our bodies, homes, relationships as things that should satisfy us but don’t and seek to find this satisfaction with these things, we are doomed to a life of destruction. By making decisions with the goal of being satisfied with this world, we lead ourselves down a dangerous path that could potentially destroy our bodies, our finances, our marriages.
In order to break free from this cycle of dissatisfaction, we must learn to look not with the yes of man, but with the eyes of our heart, the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. For it is when the Lord opens our eyes through the indwelling of His Spirit, do we see as He sees, the wonderful things of His creation, the blessings He has bestowed on us. Perhaps this glimpse of the world through His eyes will give us the satisfaction we desire, the knowledge that we are truly and completely loved, and the understanding that in just being His precious child we have all the “success” we need.