Recovery Revisited: Why I Won’t Finish This Series

I love a good series.  Give me a good blog series, sermon series, tv series, and even Pilates series, and I am IN!  I am a creature of habit.  I have a workout routine, a daily routine, a bedtime routine.  Once I find an author I like, I read all of his/her work.  Podcasts?  Don’t get me started!

I crave sameness.  If given the opportunity, I will watch the same tv show every day, Law & Order, even though I have seen all the episodes MANY times. (I scheduled my college courses to make sure I was home in time to watch the 1pm episode, true story.)

My love of scheduling does have advantages.  It made my recovery easier, because once I found routines that worked for me, I was able to ‘get in the recovery groove’ so to speak and develop good habits to replace my bad ones.  It also helps me stay healthy, well-read, and productive.

Routines are good.  Many of us feel that if we just had a good routine, things would be better.  “I need a good workout.” (or diet plan or Bible Study)  “I need to get the kids on a schedule,” we say.  And, to some extent, this is true.  Developing good habits requires practice, routine, a series of days of repetition.

However, there can be a dark side to routine, to doing a series of things repeatedly, for being scheduled.  From a workout perspective, too much repetition or lack of flexibility in your schedule can cause injury.  And most people who have been through eating disorder recovery will tell you that only having too much routine in eating can be a slippery slope.

Even if we are too regimented in the books we read, podcasts we listen to, or tv show we watch, we can fail to see the multi-faceted world around us.

Yes, I want to write a series about my recovery now, years after my initial struggle.  I want to compare ‘new’ in recovery to ‘now’ in recovery.  But after my initial post, I realized something.  Although routine and following a series of steps helped me recover and helps me stay recovered, life doesn’t happen in a series.

My daily life may be scheduled, but the issues and circumstances in my life are not.  I cannot predict what life is going to put in my path on a given day.  I cannot predict what lessons I will learn.  I cannot always describe in words what I am being taught, how I am feeling, or the growth that is happening.  These things take time, sometimes a long time, and trying to fit these lessons in a ‘series’ doesn’t always work.

So though I walk in recovery every day by making a series of choices, practicing learned routines that help me stay well, I will not write about my recovery or my life in a series.  Instead, as I learn, grow, discover new things, I will share them in hopes that they, in turn, encourage, inspire, and cause you to learn, grow, and discover new things.

See you soon, but I’m not sure when…no schedule, let’s just go with the flow.

 

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